இஷ்டமும் தெய்வமும்

Prelude : After some hesitation, I decided upon ENGLISH for this post. The reason could be best known by itself - else, you will any way find it towards the end of the post.

This could be a short post but the most important one I have done so far.... (incidentally, I casually saw the number of the posts at AGANDAM so far - it was 222. So this fancy post is after a fancy number)

Dear All

Yesterday (I mean 24th Jan) I had been to PARIKKAL (close to Viluppuram) to visit a small temple of Lakshmi Narasimhar.

I had been craving to go here for past 2 - 3 months - particularly more so since Jan 1st -  but you know, many a things in life happen only when it falls due & not when we feel like. 

Of course I went there all alone.

In fact this is the second time I am visiting this temple - the first one during the sunday after Diwali which was along with my mother and a family friend (who is extremely devout and knows the route of the 3 famous LN temples around this area) - very comfortably in a car. 

For me that one had been an exploratory trip, me trying to find out who my MAN is...sorry GOD is.....!! I feel too exhausted today to write any thing about the personal incidents that lead me towards this deity form and specifically to this temple (It could be irrelevant to you too !). 

During the earlier trip, when we reached this temple as the last of the temples (it always happens like this !!) I told myself .....YEAH...He is THE guy....!!

Now, yesterday, I was there standing all alone with just a purse in my pocket with modest money to bring me back to chennai - profusely weeping for more than half hour before the Deity. 

The young boy-priest some how realized that I am bit of strange customer and was gracious to allow me to stand there without disturbing me; he also played VISHNU SAHASRANAMAM in his mobile singing along with the phone - either it is his hobby or he decided to give me a backdrop. 

Well Pals, having subscribed to few religious (in particular TAMBRAS) sites at FB, I keep reading a lot about the importance of KULA THEYVAM or family deity. It is always understood (or misunderstood ?) that Ishta Dheyvam is of YOUR choice.

Take it from the Wise... ! (Yes, I meant me)

Ishta Dheyvam essentially means those noble Gods and Goddesses picking up lesser mortals like us - of THEIR CHOICE. 

I can say this with authenticity as only couple of years back I had learnt that the SINGA PERUMAL KOIL close to Chennai actually represents LN !! That was the level of my ignorance. 

If yesterday,  I had travelling 200 kilometers to reach this temple, its not because I have realized God. I am beginning to understand that it is the beginning of a long search. 

For some one who is 42 years old, it is too late to have a beginning, right ? Perhaps I need that ferocity and intensity of my Lord Lakshmi Narasimhar to travel where I am destined to....!! I just don't care a damn even if it is just a round about journey not leading me to any where closer to him - its just important to raise above the cool comforts that life has been offering.

Well, before I close this one, I felt I can be bit un-emotional if I don't write this in Tamil .....Just to to explain the contrast of language between the title and body of this post. That's all for you.

   

Love you......

Suchoo.