Musings on Transaction Analysis

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From: Surendran, Suren (V.)
Sent: Tuesday, April 13, 2010 5:59 PM
To:
Subject: RE: Trail Play Session

Dear Team

"Life is Relationship" proclaimed world renowned philosopher Jiddu Krishnamoorthy.

If our lives can be fragmented into minutes in physical sense, in the subtler plane - its all about how we relate ourselves to the world around us.

The quality of our relationship with external world definitely hinges largely about how we handle the people around us more than how we handle other phyiscal realities. In fact the big difference between human aspect viz a viz other aspects is that we need to be always in the "present moment" when we deal with people !!

While we should never forget the advantage of our memories about a person and should also be hooked on the future relationship with him / her, still, its important that we handle him in the present moment…..!!

That’s the significance - I clearly perceive - from the concept of Transaction Analysis.

Its too big a reality….that cannot be appreciated by every one within an half hour session (given by me earlier) or a 15 minutes skit (that you are planning)….!! Its about the constant process of learning and unlearning from day to day life. So much to learn even on a so called mundane day….Believe me !!

To be continued……..

Regards // Suren

_____________________________________________
From: Surendran, Suren (V.)
Sent: Thursday, April 15, 2010 5:13 PM
To:
Subject: RE: Trail Play Session


If we think deeply with some sense, analysing human beings - labelling people around as "good" or "bad" is a stupid thing to do…. The truth remains that all of us are GREY. Perhaps some of us are lighter shade, few of us are darker shade - its never possible to exactly quantify the grey-ness !!

If you extend the same line of thought further, we tend to label some one as "good" only based on a transaction (or few transactions). Even the best friend of our life does some stupid things in few transactions - we learn to ignore those mistakes because he is close to us. Vice versa happens to our enemies / adversaries too….!! Getting stuck up with an image about a person is not a sign of maturity.

Like in the game of cricket where a batsman is supposed to play each and every ball based on the merit, we need to approach human beings around us. The pitch conditions, Strength and Weaknesses of the opposition team with whom we are playing, our own strengths and weaknesses, the new-ness of the ball…….all these are important inputs for us to choose the stroke - but still….it matters lot more to observe the current ball that is furiously reaching us to be handled…...Isn't it ??

Transaction Analysis helps us get hooked to the current transaction and play it well.
{I always have scant regard for "success" in life……would prefer to have a label of EFFECTIVE person attached against me. Success to a great extend depends on luck factor and many times success can be accidental too….!!}

#After all, an effective person is some one who handles most of the transactions in his life in an effective manner. To consciously handle a transaction and be successful in it is sufficient experience by itself a hall mark of greatness - precisely that’s what you guys have been doing in the skit practises……!!

To be continued……(for just one more day !!)

Suren

Ps:- Am I too boring ?….Just that I am having a "break" in my typical style….Cheers….

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Dear All

Did you read the last line of my yesterday's note carefully ?? Read it once again if you did not catch my point.....for I am just going to expand that line in today's final musings on this subject.....

Well, When we take up a goal, work towards it with feverish excitement, visualize it thread bare AND think of all failure modes AND arresting ALL of them, apply ourselves to our optimum on the day when it matters - AND when it clicks, a strange sense of fulfilment fills our hearts..... For that matter, it does not matter to us much even if we encounter a fresh bottleneck that we never anticipated AND goof up a little bit !! We will be easily able to take it in stride AND appreciate that its just ONE transaction in which we failed....(Once Boris Becker told the press reporters after losing in a prestigious grand slam tournament - "it was not a war....No body died !!")

If a tiger tastes blood, then it is never the same again - perhaps people start calling it "blood hound" !! Similarly, when we taste success in one particular transaction giving ourselves whole heartedly, then we acquire an ability to handle any given situation to our best.....and move on with life without bruding about our past transactions. To me, this is the best way to live....and I mean what I say....and ......I live what I mean....!!

There is a stupid proverb in English "First Impression is the best impression"......!! For one who is moored into transaction analysis, this does not make any sense as he does not keep carrying his first impression for ever

Thanks to all of you. My heartfull of Thanks to each of you - To me it was an unforgettable episode in my chennai stint....!! How about YOU ???

Suren

ps:- guys please respond to this note AFTER 10 PM tonight in the manner of your "experience sharing" about this skit for the past 1 month or so. Let me treasure your experience in my personal archives and.....as a sweet successful transaction in my memory......