WHO AM I ?

Dear Friends,
Let me forewarn you that the purpose of this musing is neither any thing with spirituality nor I got elevated myself to the stage of saints like Ramana Maharshi....!! Its just that I am musing about myself and what is the "real" me craving for......!!
Well, I did get couple of feedbacks appreciating my earlier posting on "Principles of Management". Some of you might have wrongly imagined that I am imagining myself as an "all rounder".....Huh ? Not really so. I am just a bits and pieces of all the three categories that I was talking about...
Some times when I am in terrific frame of mind, I become so creative and keep blurting new ideas much more than what people around me can tolerate.....!! I really dont even mind the irritated faces around me when the right side of my brain pulsates with ideas... (just to add, these days, I am becoming bit conscious about these things !!)
Similarly, there were some situations I had feverishly worked on executing some thing as I always like to race with time. But let me remind you that its not so always....Throwing out all electronic gadgets viz., wrist watch, cell phone is quite a normal thing that I can do any time I want.....So, I had been a great executor in practical life only when I am not in the "throwing" mood....its important to be straight at least when we speak about ourselves right ???
There are very few occassions that I have also been an all rounder...but let me repeat the adjective once again....VERY FEW. The whole musings was revolving around a personality whom I am working with at office who inspired me a lot and definitely I dont deserve - in any manner - to call myself as an all-rounder in the way I had penned the musings.....
Well, then, who am I ? Dont you think I need to ponder this deeply as I am inching towards 40 already..and my grey hairs are quite visible though I stand at 5 - 6 feet away from mirror ?
When I ask this question deeply and thinking it aloud...YES....seems I have some clarity. Let me share it with you !!!
Visualise a gun man in front of you taking a target, aims at it and hits on the bulls eye.....Got a mental picture ? I am neither the gun man who executes the idea of shooting (creative people) nor the bullet which dutifully hits the target (the implementors). Then, who am I....???
Do I sound really scary.....as If I am inching towards Ghost-hood.....?
Well, I think I am the trigger of the pistol (gun). The pistol as such is not even remembered as a vital part of gun. Please note that the trigger is not big enough to be labelled as an all rounder but functionally it acts as a vital link between creator and executor !! But, the main difference between me and the trigger of a pistol is that I am a proud trigger with a loud mouth.....like a child enjoying its own pranks with loud laughter not really minding about decency.....!!
Its great to be a trigger, believe me !!!.....
You know some thing ?? this is an excellent subject (karu) for my next poem which I feel like titling as "visai" - which means in tamil "trigger"........!!
Let it flow thru' me some day if shambo decides so....!!
Suren