I call these expressions as ONE PAGERS because, there is a goal taken for such pieces...that it will be exactly One page at A4 size - with Ariel Font 10.
Well, the next to follow this particular one pager is on "Leadership"; it could be sort ofsequel to the current topic "Parenting"; Go ahead please……
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Parenting
Refer any dictionary available to you, you will find the term “parent” will be inadequately explained. Few powerful words which actually symbolise some finer feelings are not properly defined by Dictionaries and inadequately described by thesauruses. To call ourselves really literate we need to dig up our minds and hearts a little bit to compliment these external aids. Let us consider the word “parenting” in this one pager.
Simply put, a parent is some one who gives birth to a child (in case of female) or being responsible for it (in case of male). Is that all? Slightly evolved minds will immediately add that a parent is not some one who just reproduces but takes care for the growth and evolution of next generation. But then, is every parent whom we know fits into this extended definition? To look at the other side, is some one who is impotent cursed not to become a parent?
So much of emotional and sentimental values are attached to parenthood that I have thought several times before making the following statements. There are few parents who are too possessive about their children. Some of them are bit impractical (“All well should happen for their children all times"). Few of them are even bit calculative and do not mind cursing their own children when the investments they have made, is threatened to go waste (children leaving the roots for ever, Love marriages - to name a couple of instances). Now if you feel like objecting that these are exceptions and does not any dilute the importance and nobility of a "parent", hold on for a second, the idea was to take a complete view of the terminology. Let us try to accept the realities though we are lucky enough to be blessed with better parents for ourselves.
Let us ask ourselves a simple question – how do we react when we are not blessed with "matured" parents (as defined by us)?
Of course, the first impulsive resolution all of us naturally is to "some how tolerate them" and "not becoming like them" when we become parents eventually. Perhaps we may even end up as an idealistic parent (as per our own standards) in due course. The question that I would like to raise thru' this one pager is "should we wait to practise those things that we admire until we actually become biological parent?
The first of the thing that we can do right now is to accept our parents as they are!
Communication too has its own limits and instead of getting into an argument or persuasive explanation, we can engineer ourselves to elevate ourselves to be a graceful parent to them in turn!
Want some more room to experiment?
There are enough tortured souls around us who still long for the warmth of their mother's womb unable to stand the heat of lives. If only we can make ourselves as a pleasant shady tree for a while to such beings, it could be an unforgettable experience to us more than those grateful people. I am sure every one of us has at least few pleasant memories getting triggered in these lines - when we have received a grateful recognition from some one whom we helped at some point of time. Being in a parent can be explaining symbolically as being a shade giving tree – not out of any compulsions, external or internal, - but as our intrinsic nature.
If we look at this one way, we are slightly more blessed than a tree – we have too many options to do based on our choice and area of interest – be it working for some poverty alleviation project or literacy movements or working for the well being of other forms of lives.
In another way, there is no need to go in search of any new initiatives. Simply being graceful to people around us, providing them the nourishment they need - can alone constitute full fledged parenting.
For that matter, parenting is not about doing or thinking or feeling….it is just about “being”!
For that matter, all that we can physically do, think about and feel for has a saturation point, right? With a very little practical wisdom, every one will come to realise that "being" a parent has no saturation point at all.
Being a parent is actually a mindset and if at all we are grateful to our own parents, it is because, they had demonstrated this mindset once a while – may not be always – which could be some times quite unconsciously too.
As explained earlier too, there is really no need for us to become a “biological” parent to consciously practise what our parents and forefathers have done. It is really a mystery why impotency is a subject of so much pain and mental suffocation to many couples who are not blessed with a child.
The greatest tragedy of modern world is that we have huge deficit of “parent” mindset. Particularly in our country, since we have thoroughly misunderstood the virtues of being a parent as though it means “physical parenting”, we have become such an overpopulated country. The beauty of becoming a "mental" parent is that you will naturally start triggering lot of such parents around you.
Last but not the least, becoming a “mental” parent can be instantaneous without painful waiting period of 9 months or so! Happy Parenting…..!!
Refer any dictionary available to you, you will find the term “parent” will be inadequately explained. Few powerful words which actually symbolise some finer feelings are not properly defined by Dictionaries and inadequately described by thesauruses. To call ourselves really literate we need to dig up our minds and hearts a little bit to compliment these external aids. Let us consider the word “parenting” in this one pager.
Simply put, a parent is some one who gives birth to a child (in case of female) or being responsible for it (in case of male). Is that all? Slightly evolved minds will immediately add that a parent is not some one who just reproduces but takes care for the growth and evolution of next generation. But then, is every parent whom we know fits into this extended definition? To look at the other side, is some one who is impotent cursed not to become a parent?
So much of emotional and sentimental values are attached to parenthood that I have thought several times before making the following statements. There are few parents who are too possessive about their children. Some of them are bit impractical (“All well should happen for their children all times"). Few of them are even bit calculative and do not mind cursing their own children when the investments they have made, is threatened to go waste (children leaving the roots for ever, Love marriages - to name a couple of instances). Now if you feel like objecting that these are exceptions and does not any dilute the importance and nobility of a "parent", hold on for a second, the idea was to take a complete view of the terminology. Let us try to accept the realities though we are lucky enough to be blessed with better parents for ourselves.
Let us ask ourselves a simple question – how do we react when we are not blessed with "matured" parents (as defined by us)?
Of course, the first impulsive resolution all of us naturally is to "some how tolerate them" and "not becoming like them" when we become parents eventually. Perhaps we may even end up as an idealistic parent (as per our own standards) in due course. The question that I would like to raise thru' this one pager is "should we wait to practise those things that we admire until we actually become biological parent?
The first of the thing that we can do right now is to accept our parents as they are!
Communication too has its own limits and instead of getting into an argument or persuasive explanation, we can engineer ourselves to elevate ourselves to be a graceful parent to them in turn!
Want some more room to experiment?
There are enough tortured souls around us who still long for the warmth of their mother's womb unable to stand the heat of lives. If only we can make ourselves as a pleasant shady tree for a while to such beings, it could be an unforgettable experience to us more than those grateful people. I am sure every one of us has at least few pleasant memories getting triggered in these lines - when we have received a grateful recognition from some one whom we helped at some point of time. Being in a parent can be explaining symbolically as being a shade giving tree – not out of any compulsions, external or internal, - but as our intrinsic nature.
If we look at this one way, we are slightly more blessed than a tree – we have too many options to do based on our choice and area of interest – be it working for some poverty alleviation project or literacy movements or working for the well being of other forms of lives.
In another way, there is no need to go in search of any new initiatives. Simply being graceful to people around us, providing them the nourishment they need - can alone constitute full fledged parenting.
For that matter, parenting is not about doing or thinking or feeling….it is just about “being”!
For that matter, all that we can physically do, think about and feel for has a saturation point, right? With a very little practical wisdom, every one will come to realise that "being" a parent has no saturation point at all.
Being a parent is actually a mindset and if at all we are grateful to our own parents, it is because, they had demonstrated this mindset once a while – may not be always – which could be some times quite unconsciously too.
As explained earlier too, there is really no need for us to become a “biological” parent to consciously practise what our parents and forefathers have done. It is really a mystery why impotency is a subject of so much pain and mental suffocation to many couples who are not blessed with a child.
The greatest tragedy of modern world is that we have huge deficit of “parent” mindset. Particularly in our country, since we have thoroughly misunderstood the virtues of being a parent as though it means “physical parenting”, we have become such an overpopulated country. The beauty of becoming a "mental" parent is that you will naturally start triggering lot of such parents around you.
Last but not the least, becoming a “mental” parent can be instantaneous without painful waiting period of 9 months or so! Happy Parenting…..!!
Parenting – Afterword
I did not want to write a “prelude” this time because this subject does not warrant any dilution or distraction of your thoughts and emotions when you read through ! However, I have included an “afterword” this time because….I wanted to explain you the background of what ever that was written.
Any one who has underwent a Yoga program at Isha will realize that I have put across the thoughts sown in our minds during our program. But, what ever is written above has been penned down with lot of conviction and clarity from my own experiences and experimentation.
By the by, is there any original thoughts that we can have? For that matter, can there be any new thought in this universe? May be we think about it for the first time….but we were triggered on this only because it is very much in the air that we live in.
In that sense, there are no "inventions" or "re-inventions" with respect truths about lives. At best they could be self discoveries.
I did not want to write a “prelude” this time because this subject does not warrant any dilution or distraction of your thoughts and emotions when you read through ! However, I have included an “afterword” this time because….I wanted to explain you the background of what ever that was written.
Any one who has underwent a Yoga program at Isha will realize that I have put across the thoughts sown in our minds during our program. But, what ever is written above has been penned down with lot of conviction and clarity from my own experiences and experimentation.
By the by, is there any original thoughts that we can have? For that matter, can there be any new thought in this universe? May be we think about it for the first time….but we were triggered on this only because it is very much in the air that we live in.
In that sense, there are no "inventions" or "re-inventions" with respect truths about lives. At best they could be self discoveries.
Suren,
ReplyDeleteI am too young to comment on this Musings.
But this brings the film "Abiyum Naanum" by Prakash Raj to my memory. I don't know if you have seen that movie.. But if not, I recommend you to see that movie at least once.
I like two or three scenes in that film, which I believe everyone will like.
Regards,
Ganesh P