PRELUDE :: Oxford Dictionary gives the meaning of the word synonym as “a word or phrase that means exactly or nearly the same as another in the same language”. Intuitively I also checked up the same in Webster’s Thesaurus which gives the synonym, related words, antonym and “near” antonym for so many words…..Alas….it gives none of these to the word synonym itself…..!! Is this what “taking things for granted” means !!!
Well, Let me start of my this week’s musings with a small incident that happened in one of the training sessions that I handled last year. I am a part time trainer at office and the more important thing is that I am passionate about it. Noticing that (some times) the Feedback forms are filled up quite superficially due to the hurry to leave, I take some time to explain the importance of “feedbacks” at the end of the session with a request to complete all the details as is required in the form. In this particular session, I found a team member leaving the last column (intended to capture the overall feedback about the session) blank while she handed over the form to me. I candidly requested her to fill it up too; she responded with a cheerful smile that she did not have “any comments” obviously meaning “negative feedback”. I patiently smiled at her and asked her to write it exactly and give back the form.
This little incident pushed me to deep thoughts and I was wondering the distortions that happen to the usage of words with wrong understanding formed about them. Like the word “Naatram” in Tamil which essentially means smell (YES, only “DhurNaatram” means Bad smell), based on the consistent wrong usage of many people around, the younger generation strongly believes that “Naatram” means bad smell!! Yes, this girl has clearly misconstrued the meaning of “comment” as some thing negative!
Now let me put forth my understanding on few related words in the same context – Opinion, Comments, Feedbacks and Suggestions. While all these four words involve thought process on the inputs through our sense organs, I feel there is some essential difference between the first two and the last two. While opinions and comments can be passed on to some body else too, the latter two words denote the communication to the feeder of our inputs. There is a clear dividing line here.
Opinions are formed within us (“abipraayam”) while Comments are expressed opinions (“Karuthu”). There is a possibility I may have a opinion on some subject but never pass comment about it. Honestly I do not find any other difference between these two words.
Between the other two words, Feedback is giving our comment to the right recipient “as is” while Suggestions is giving our comments on “how better”.
Forming an opinion is some thing that we always do when we are emotionally or sentimentally involved in any subject but we always have an option of the other three (C, F and S). While expressing, I feel the order above is quite perfect to indicate how much evolved we are. Mediocre people pass comments; Sensible people give Feedbacks while empathetic people offer suggestions for improvement. I do understand "giving suggestions" is not possible all the times – particularly when we do not have expertise about the subject matter; Giving feedbacks is by itself an art and needs a separate musings. But that does mean “comment” is superior to them any way……?
Now I want to conclude this musings with a question to ponder…Why don’t the BLOG world change the “comment” field as “feedback” field ? If not others, I would prefer to have this with this term as this is MY blog.
Well…. when I say, MY blog and MY body I mean them in the active present. I do realize that every thing that is created has an expiry date. For that matter, wise people always say that Death does not touch some one who is in constant memory of it.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Musings on Parenting
"One Pagers" are my expressions which spring out pre-dominantly from left side of my brain. Normally extempore and bit careless about the mistakes that I commit while expressing myself in my poems and musings, I take lot of care when I post these one pagers. These one pagers are put across to you to the best of my abilities and vocabulary without any snags. Spelling, grammar, sentence & paragraph formation are re-checked again and again along with lot of concern about not committing any factual errors. Though I have been writing lot of simple topics all these days – over a period of time - I intend to write about few subjects like Mysticism, Etymology, Mathematics etc.,
I call these expressions as ONE PAGERS because, there is a goal taken for such pieces...that it will be exactly One page at A4 size - with Ariel Font 10.
Well, the next to follow this particular one pager is on "Leadership"; it could be sort ofsequel to the current topic "Parenting"; Go ahead please……
____________________________________________________________________
I call these expressions as ONE PAGERS because, there is a goal taken for such pieces...that it will be exactly One page at A4 size - with Ariel Font 10.
Well, the next to follow this particular one pager is on "Leadership"; it could be sort ofsequel to the current topic "Parenting"; Go ahead please……
____________________________________________________________________
Parenting
Refer any dictionary available to you, you will find the term “parent” will be inadequately explained. Few powerful words which actually symbolise some finer feelings are not properly defined by Dictionaries and inadequately described by thesauruses. To call ourselves really literate we need to dig up our minds and hearts a little bit to compliment these external aids. Let us consider the word “parenting” in this one pager.
Simply put, a parent is some one who gives birth to a child (in case of female) or being responsible for it (in case of male). Is that all? Slightly evolved minds will immediately add that a parent is not some one who just reproduces but takes care for the growth and evolution of next generation. But then, is every parent whom we know fits into this extended definition? To look at the other side, is some one who is impotent cursed not to become a parent?
So much of emotional and sentimental values are attached to parenthood that I have thought several times before making the following statements. There are few parents who are too possessive about their children. Some of them are bit impractical (“All well should happen for their children all times"). Few of them are even bit calculative and do not mind cursing their own children when the investments they have made, is threatened to go waste (children leaving the roots for ever, Love marriages - to name a couple of instances). Now if you feel like objecting that these are exceptions and does not any dilute the importance and nobility of a "parent", hold on for a second, the idea was to take a complete view of the terminology. Let us try to accept the realities though we are lucky enough to be blessed with better parents for ourselves.
Let us ask ourselves a simple question – how do we react when we are not blessed with "matured" parents (as defined by us)?
Of course, the first impulsive resolution all of us naturally is to "some how tolerate them" and "not becoming like them" when we become parents eventually. Perhaps we may even end up as an idealistic parent (as per our own standards) in due course. The question that I would like to raise thru' this one pager is "should we wait to practise those things that we admire until we actually become biological parent?
The first of the thing that we can do right now is to accept our parents as they are!
Communication too has its own limits and instead of getting into an argument or persuasive explanation, we can engineer ourselves to elevate ourselves to be a graceful parent to them in turn!
Want some more room to experiment?
There are enough tortured souls around us who still long for the warmth of their mother's womb unable to stand the heat of lives. If only we can make ourselves as a pleasant shady tree for a while to such beings, it could be an unforgettable experience to us more than those grateful people. I am sure every one of us has at least few pleasant memories getting triggered in these lines - when we have received a grateful recognition from some one whom we helped at some point of time. Being in a parent can be explaining symbolically as being a shade giving tree – not out of any compulsions, external or internal, - but as our intrinsic nature.
If we look at this one way, we are slightly more blessed than a tree – we have too many options to do based on our choice and area of interest – be it working for some poverty alleviation project or literacy movements or working for the well being of other forms of lives.
In another way, there is no need to go in search of any new initiatives. Simply being graceful to people around us, providing them the nourishment they need - can alone constitute full fledged parenting.
For that matter, parenting is not about doing or thinking or feeling….it is just about “being”!
For that matter, all that we can physically do, think about and feel for has a saturation point, right? With a very little practical wisdom, every one will come to realise that "being" a parent has no saturation point at all.
Being a parent is actually a mindset and if at all we are grateful to our own parents, it is because, they had demonstrated this mindset once a while – may not be always – which could be some times quite unconsciously too.
As explained earlier too, there is really no need for us to become a “biological” parent to consciously practise what our parents and forefathers have done. It is really a mystery why impotency is a subject of so much pain and mental suffocation to many couples who are not blessed with a child.
The greatest tragedy of modern world is that we have huge deficit of “parent” mindset. Particularly in our country, since we have thoroughly misunderstood the virtues of being a parent as though it means “physical parenting”, we have become such an overpopulated country. The beauty of becoming a "mental" parent is that you will naturally start triggering lot of such parents around you.
Last but not the least, becoming a “mental” parent can be instantaneous without painful waiting period of 9 months or so! Happy Parenting…..!!
Refer any dictionary available to you, you will find the term “parent” will be inadequately explained. Few powerful words which actually symbolise some finer feelings are not properly defined by Dictionaries and inadequately described by thesauruses. To call ourselves really literate we need to dig up our minds and hearts a little bit to compliment these external aids. Let us consider the word “parenting” in this one pager.
Simply put, a parent is some one who gives birth to a child (in case of female) or being responsible for it (in case of male). Is that all? Slightly evolved minds will immediately add that a parent is not some one who just reproduces but takes care for the growth and evolution of next generation. But then, is every parent whom we know fits into this extended definition? To look at the other side, is some one who is impotent cursed not to become a parent?
So much of emotional and sentimental values are attached to parenthood that I have thought several times before making the following statements. There are few parents who are too possessive about their children. Some of them are bit impractical (“All well should happen for their children all times"). Few of them are even bit calculative and do not mind cursing their own children when the investments they have made, is threatened to go waste (children leaving the roots for ever, Love marriages - to name a couple of instances). Now if you feel like objecting that these are exceptions and does not any dilute the importance and nobility of a "parent", hold on for a second, the idea was to take a complete view of the terminology. Let us try to accept the realities though we are lucky enough to be blessed with better parents for ourselves.
Let us ask ourselves a simple question – how do we react when we are not blessed with "matured" parents (as defined by us)?
Of course, the first impulsive resolution all of us naturally is to "some how tolerate them" and "not becoming like them" when we become parents eventually. Perhaps we may even end up as an idealistic parent (as per our own standards) in due course. The question that I would like to raise thru' this one pager is "should we wait to practise those things that we admire until we actually become biological parent?
The first of the thing that we can do right now is to accept our parents as they are!
Communication too has its own limits and instead of getting into an argument or persuasive explanation, we can engineer ourselves to elevate ourselves to be a graceful parent to them in turn!
Want some more room to experiment?
There are enough tortured souls around us who still long for the warmth of their mother's womb unable to stand the heat of lives. If only we can make ourselves as a pleasant shady tree for a while to such beings, it could be an unforgettable experience to us more than those grateful people. I am sure every one of us has at least few pleasant memories getting triggered in these lines - when we have received a grateful recognition from some one whom we helped at some point of time. Being in a parent can be explaining symbolically as being a shade giving tree – not out of any compulsions, external or internal, - but as our intrinsic nature.
If we look at this one way, we are slightly more blessed than a tree – we have too many options to do based on our choice and area of interest – be it working for some poverty alleviation project or literacy movements or working for the well being of other forms of lives.
In another way, there is no need to go in search of any new initiatives. Simply being graceful to people around us, providing them the nourishment they need - can alone constitute full fledged parenting.
For that matter, parenting is not about doing or thinking or feeling….it is just about “being”!
For that matter, all that we can physically do, think about and feel for has a saturation point, right? With a very little practical wisdom, every one will come to realise that "being" a parent has no saturation point at all.
Being a parent is actually a mindset and if at all we are grateful to our own parents, it is because, they had demonstrated this mindset once a while – may not be always – which could be some times quite unconsciously too.
As explained earlier too, there is really no need for us to become a “biological” parent to consciously practise what our parents and forefathers have done. It is really a mystery why impotency is a subject of so much pain and mental suffocation to many couples who are not blessed with a child.
The greatest tragedy of modern world is that we have huge deficit of “parent” mindset. Particularly in our country, since we have thoroughly misunderstood the virtues of being a parent as though it means “physical parenting”, we have become such an overpopulated country. The beauty of becoming a "mental" parent is that you will naturally start triggering lot of such parents around you.
Last but not the least, becoming a “mental” parent can be instantaneous without painful waiting period of 9 months or so! Happy Parenting…..!!
Parenting – Afterword
I did not want to write a “prelude” this time because this subject does not warrant any dilution or distraction of your thoughts and emotions when you read through ! However, I have included an “afterword” this time because….I wanted to explain you the background of what ever that was written.
Any one who has underwent a Yoga program at Isha will realize that I have put across the thoughts sown in our minds during our program. But, what ever is written above has been penned down with lot of conviction and clarity from my own experiences and experimentation.
By the by, is there any original thoughts that we can have? For that matter, can there be any new thought in this universe? May be we think about it for the first time….but we were triggered on this only because it is very much in the air that we live in.
In that sense, there are no "inventions" or "re-inventions" with respect truths about lives. At best they could be self discoveries.
I did not want to write a “prelude” this time because this subject does not warrant any dilution or distraction of your thoughts and emotions when you read through ! However, I have included an “afterword” this time because….I wanted to explain you the background of what ever that was written.
Any one who has underwent a Yoga program at Isha will realize that I have put across the thoughts sown in our minds during our program. But, what ever is written above has been penned down with lot of conviction and clarity from my own experiences and experimentation.
By the by, is there any original thoughts that we can have? For that matter, can there be any new thought in this universe? May be we think about it for the first time….but we were triggered on this only because it is very much in the air that we live in.
In that sense, there are no "inventions" or "re-inventions" with respect truths about lives. At best they could be self discoveries.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Musings on "Boredom"
Dear Friends
Many diagonise that the root cause of boredom is in doing same things again and again !!
Let us touch our hearts for a moment and genuinely answer this question……Is it possible to do different different things all thru' our lives ?
Check with Kamal Haasan or AR Rahman in private, they will candidly admit that their work is not always "different" for them. Perhaps they may have more percentage of variety than for you and me.The first thing to admit to ourself to drive away the boredom is that "repetition" is unavoidable in lives.
In fact I have always felt repetition as a great opportunity instead !! But how, let me explain
The first time we do some thing, we are over-cautious and really miss the pleasure of enjoying it. When we become experts in any act for that matter, here is an opportunity to test out ourselves in terms of some stretch goals OR taking up some new dimensions that we can never think about when we do things first. Catch my point ? With we doubly sure about our performance as we are experienced, the second time we can indeed take a goal on the quality of our output, look for a delighter goal in the third attempt, try to bring down the time by half in the fourth time….and so on….But why ?? Just to kill the boredom…I don’t think this planet will be sufficient for our aspirations if we want variety in life. It is we who have to change ourselves as performers and not complain about the stagnancy of the work.What ever we pinpoint at with our index finger, let us remember the heaviest of all - the thumb - is pointing towards only at us !!
I had the opportunity of making the presentation "Story Telling" couple of hours back here at coimbatore - which I did for Visteon last year (First week of January 2008) . It was a previlege to do this nice presentation that I impulsively prepared for you all - in front of 44 Launch Team members belonging to 11 different Operations. Logically it should have been boring for me but it was totally different experience this time. (Nithya & Jabeen know it better). Many planned things did not happen and lot of unplanned things happened during this 15 minutes presentation but it is so in our lives too…right ?
For that matter, I never get bored with the routine. Had always been an abnormal in doing the "filing" of papers passionately which people try to pass on to other lesser mortals.
Before I end this musings, let me narrate a wonderful incident that happened couple of years back.
I have a wonderful niece who is in B.Com First year currently. I have been seeing her right from her infancy and naturally we have a strong bond and perfect understanding. Once it happened, when we were walking towards our home at chennai, both of us by coincidence did not talk to each other. While I was thinking about some thing quite deeply, after close to 15 minutes as we approached our home, with a sudden jolt of realisation that it could be quite boring for her, I turned towards her and asked her "why are you so quiet ??"….She responded me with a smile with a statement that made me feel proud about her
"I was just counting from one…two...three…(numerics)…right now in 237 !!"
Believe me, it is impossible to have boredom in life ….if we are little conscious about the excitement that life can offer us…..!!
That’s all for the week
Suren
Ps:- Made a decision on BLOG…YES, it could be lot more easier to all of us. Please click the voting button if you browse internet periodically - if not regularly….
Many diagonise that the root cause of boredom is in doing same things again and again !!
Let us touch our hearts for a moment and genuinely answer this question……Is it possible to do different different things all thru' our lives ?
Check with Kamal Haasan or AR Rahman in private, they will candidly admit that their work is not always "different" for them. Perhaps they may have more percentage of variety than for you and me.The first thing to admit to ourself to drive away the boredom is that "repetition" is unavoidable in lives.
In fact I have always felt repetition as a great opportunity instead !! But how, let me explain
The first time we do some thing, we are over-cautious and really miss the pleasure of enjoying it. When we become experts in any act for that matter, here is an opportunity to test out ourselves in terms of some stretch goals OR taking up some new dimensions that we can never think about when we do things first. Catch my point ? With we doubly sure about our performance as we are experienced, the second time we can indeed take a goal on the quality of our output, look for a delighter goal in the third attempt, try to bring down the time by half in the fourth time….and so on….But why ?? Just to kill the boredom…I don’t think this planet will be sufficient for our aspirations if we want variety in life. It is we who have to change ourselves as performers and not complain about the stagnancy of the work.What ever we pinpoint at with our index finger, let us remember the heaviest of all - the thumb - is pointing towards only at us !!
I had the opportunity of making the presentation "Story Telling" couple of hours back here at coimbatore - which I did for Visteon last year (First week of January 2008) . It was a previlege to do this nice presentation that I impulsively prepared for you all - in front of 44 Launch Team members belonging to 11 different Operations. Logically it should have been boring for me but it was totally different experience this time. (Nithya & Jabeen know it better). Many planned things did not happen and lot of unplanned things happened during this 15 minutes presentation but it is so in our lives too…right ?
For that matter, I never get bored with the routine. Had always been an abnormal in doing the "filing" of papers passionately which people try to pass on to other lesser mortals.
Before I end this musings, let me narrate a wonderful incident that happened couple of years back.
I have a wonderful niece who is in B.Com First year currently. I have been seeing her right from her infancy and naturally we have a strong bond and perfect understanding. Once it happened, when we were walking towards our home at chennai, both of us by coincidence did not talk to each other. While I was thinking about some thing quite deeply, after close to 15 minutes as we approached our home, with a sudden jolt of realisation that it could be quite boring for her, I turned towards her and asked her "why are you so quiet ??"….She responded me with a smile with a statement that made me feel proud about her
"I was just counting from one…two...three…(numerics)…right now in 237 !!"
Believe me, it is impossible to have boredom in life ….if we are little conscious about the excitement that life can offer us…..!!
That’s all for the week
Suren
Ps:- Made a decision on BLOG…YES, it could be lot more easier to all of us. Please click the voting button if you browse internet periodically - if not regularly….
Musings on "Expressions"
Well, I sincerely believe all of us are poets - by default .
As human beings (for sure) we have feelings ….and feelings are the foundation of writing poems. Some one told me quite recently (of course, who is in the distribution list) that he / she feels like writing a poem after reading Lokesh's poem. Do you get the point ??? When we are very happy, our expressions becoming beautiful and poetic - I mean - both the facial expressions as well as verbal expressions.
It is not by accident that many of the God Men gave us scriptures in the form of poems / songs regardless of what ever religion they profess to; it is just that they are truly blissful beings that their expressions turned out to be poems. Coming to you and me, though we are not in their level of blissful experience, we can very well consciously create situations and circumstances in our lives to make us truly blissful once a while …..and record it as poems. Eternity or Divine Grace or God or Nature - what ever name you chose to define it - ensures that when one of us are happy, it spreads to others around him. Like sorrow and hatred, good things too are contagious.
For that matter I am taking poems only as a symbolism in the earlier paras. I consider my "one pagers", the one to one mail interactions with every one of you people - why, even this very mail as an earnest expression from me. To be bit blunt, the intention of this mail is not to impress you people but this is for my own self improvement.
There are other art forms like music, painting, sculpute which are non-verbal and push us into a great experience - but many of them unfortunately need some formal training to enjoy them. In that sense, Reading, Writing, Hearing and Speaking (can we call them RWHS ?) are simpler form of arts that all of us can do provided we are blessed by God with our sense organs and blessed by our parents on education. Since, we cannot take any credit on the basic skills of RWHS, we should earnestly try to improve upon it. And once we start working on these art forms sincerely, we will start finding that our learning is always an upward graph which never ends. You can also find that RWHS are paired in a way. To speak well, we need to listen well….To write well, we need to read well. The first of the two are outputs while the latter too are inputs.
Not a soul on earth can feel proud that he is an expert in RWHS because, the moment the pride comes to the mind, there is possibility of slip. We automatically turn lot more humble and receptive and then more growth happens…..
So, that was my quota for this week. Thinking seriously if I should start a blog instead of writing in official mail id….I promise to you all that I will allocate time to you all weekly once as much as I can though it may slip to once a fortnight on some really hard weeks. This is only about my mails to you. From your side, you are free to write me on any thing that I could be of some value. I will always respond to you, if needed.
Krishnaarpanam
Between the cup and the lips !!
Dear Folks
I had created this blog (with the help of my cousin) on Dec 31st....and it has taken close to 65 days to announce it to you people.
I really dont feel bad about the long time taken...because I am quite happy and relieved that this has not become an abandoned initiative from my side. Have we not heard of instances which resemble the famous phrase "many a slip between cup and the lips".....So much time was needed for me to make myself really sure that a BLOG is needed..and it will be of some value to any one who visits this blog.
My heartfull gratitude goes to those few volunteers at Visteon Payables team of FBSC whom I had used like "rats"...for all my experiments in writing...!! They helped me by giving their support to all my wierd (some times) thoughts and their feedback to my mails to them....until I really got a comfort that...OK my blog will at least have half a dozen visitors every week...if not every day....!! For that matter my postings too will be on weekly basis only. I have pasted couple of my recent musings after this intro note..along with the two new poems that I have written during 2009.
Folks, now you are free to refer this blog to your friends and like minded people.....I have arrived in public....at last !!!
Krishnaarpanam as Always.....
Suren
I had created this blog (with the help of my cousin) on Dec 31st....and it has taken close to 65 days to announce it to you people.
I really dont feel bad about the long time taken...because I am quite happy and relieved that this has not become an abandoned initiative from my side. Have we not heard of instances which resemble the famous phrase "many a slip between cup and the lips".....So much time was needed for me to make myself really sure that a BLOG is needed..and it will be of some value to any one who visits this blog.
My heartfull gratitude goes to those few volunteers at Visteon Payables team of FBSC whom I had used like "rats"...for all my experiments in writing...!! They helped me by giving their support to all my wierd (some times) thoughts and their feedback to my mails to them....until I really got a comfort that...OK my blog will at least have half a dozen visitors every week...if not every day....!! For that matter my postings too will be on weekly basis only. I have pasted couple of my recent musings after this intro note..along with the two new poems that I have written during 2009.
Folks, now you are free to refer this blog to your friends and like minded people.....I have arrived in public....at last !!!
Krishnaarpanam as Always.....
Suren
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